If you withdraw your love, she'll only resent your fianc for it. Don't baby him. The hard part is hoping your son will wake up before making any lifelong commitment to this girl. Please help me what to do and how would I feel better because I don't know what to say , I feel betrayed.. Plus, you have been a great financial help to your mother, and she might feel that you will be strapped if you also have to support your girlfriend, too. I tried to talk to my son several times but he brushed me off. The Debater. You dont own him alright??! Contact: 0208 296 9620 You kicked him out. Kids. She is trying to keep him from his family, I really hates her! This is all good advice however, what to you recommend if you see a son in turmoil due to a needy girlfriend. This is his first true long term sexual relationship at 19 years, so obviously this is having an affect on him. My goodness! A monkey with a banana ran up and grabbed one of my kitties, slung him under its arm and ran away. The thing is that a young man must be getting something from his relationship with this girl. While kids might seem honestly happy with their dating or personal lifestyle, as a parent, you can tell that they are in a controlling or abusive relationship. If things didn't go well, how do you get your parents to like your boyfriend? Lesson learned! My son learned and is so much wiser and stronger for it. You can't help solve a problem until you know what it is. Any advice for us.his siblings miss him terribly, and so do his father and I! Everyone has value. "Do you think she'll make a good mother to your children?" She hates our whole family for no reason at all. She sleeps with multiple men at a time and has advertised her "services" on Backpage and Erotic Monkey. Use humor. Your son is underage as is his girlfriend who is having a clearly negative influence on him. Hello, my situation is very hard and I truly feel like my son hates me at this point. Now we just ask we know where he is since he lives with us still. When he says he wants to go and live with his dad, don't panic and see this as a reflection . Both eyes open, we told him, if he wanted to avoid heartache later. I can't help but think that your son isn't capable of making sound decisions for himself let alone his son. I think then the girlfriend deserves better than your son. Now mind you this girl is wayy better looking than your . My son started treating me bad - I became the bad guy! But if we could prevent that, if he could trust us his family who loves him unconditionally and forever, could he rethink this choice? This can be more difficult for the parent than it is for the child, but here are some ways to make it easier for everyone. My sons girl friend hates us. Introducing your boyfriend to your parents is a nerve-wracking experience. If the girl is "broken" in some way, he can be her hero or savior. Today I mad him leave with no where to go and cried after her left and watched him load that tiny car. She looked nothing like the picture she had sent to his cell. She has had very bad comments that show that she disapproves of our relationship in front of family members and others. And that he will find it in his heart to forgive you for any mistakes you made as a mother because you only intended to raise him well. I didn't critize her when she relayed through my son, how mean it was of me to overlook doing something for her to celebrate her first mother's day. Then he showers and leaves. But it sounds as though you imposed them without discussion, when you might have suggested the temporary rule as a recommendation, a suggestion, and asked them if they had alternative ideas for how to improve their chances of passing the exams. For young kids who haven't found healthy activities that provide the thrill (sports, academia, art, music, volunteering, positive social relationships), they subconsciously seek out experiences to feel the rush through emotional turmoil, drama, drinking, and drugs. Kimberly Atkins from Cameron, NC on May 26, 2018: This article gave me a different perspective and some things to consider on my sons relationship. If she heartlessly uses your sons emotions to make him agree to her terms. Young boys with low self-esteem are attracted to girls that make them feel good about themselves. Some lucky people do. Its easy for you to recognize when another person is taking advantage of your loved one. They will remember all of your loving care you gave them through the years and eventually, they will change their behavior towards you. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. It really is as simple as that! we seriously can't stand this girl can't even be in the same room with her without wanting to hurt her! Did you criticize them a lot? Then the exams started and they chose to see each other on the Saturday. So things are a bit strained to say the least. Maybe write it in a letter or note. Because when she knows this, she'll do anything to make you happy in return even if that means accepting the new love of your life. However, I would remind him that he's not owning up to his adult responsibilities in having and providing for his woman without your help. Lori Phillips (author) from Southern California USA on June 05, 2012: Why don't they like her? We don't see the spiritual powers at work, and this experience may be invaluable in building his character and life knowledge. Thank you, Lori. She sounds like an extremely insecure person who needs to self-protect. When is your birthday? About 11:45 that evening , there is a knock at the door and girlfirend is standing there crying histerically with her mother. But they don't like my girlfriend we had some issues in the beginning but I don't blame my girlfriend there were alot of outside interference. It's totally crappy and feels like a can't-win situation, but what happens between them is 100% out of your control. Visit them alone sometimes. We need to question why this girl attracts him. If your son contributes to your finances and you need his support, that is a different story. He has began college on a full scholarship but lives at home. These people love him because he gives them everything they want. Sing her praises but not in a way that will make your mother feel less or feel jealous. My husband ignore what he saw but he told me about it. OK mamas, admit it: no one is good enough for your son. I haven't said anything cos I don't want to hurt my son and put him in the middle of something that he is not responsible for. www.mumsnet.com We need to reflect on his relationship with his family prior to this relationship with this girl. He told her and then called me later to tell me that she was highly offended and never wanted me to do their laundry again and that all of that clothing belonged to her son. Explain your concerns but follow them with, I will respect your choice and love you no matter what.. does not see any of these issues we are having with her, Love is blind I know. When she constantly ridicules and criticizes your son or his family. Send him to a guidance counsellor or psychiatrist if the relationship poses an immediate threat to your son. Your family cell phone policy should include limits on cell phones at night and at school, and you should monitor cell phone contacts for young kids. They want to make their own decisions and live as they like. If he is okay with them, you should be too. He came back after a year, when I contacted him, told him we all loved him, missed him dearly and we enjoyed the next 18 months together as a family. They spoke emotionally about how starting in June 2020 through the spring of 2021, O'Connor allegedly hosted parties for her teenage son and his friends, "facilitating and watching" their sex acts . Scarlet and I do not speak. No socialization there . Make it a warm and inviting offering. She had died her hair red (my son love's red heads and she decided to do this). Learn from the experience - that is what I am trying to do. Her baby was born Dec 2012. I explained to her the reason. Even wives. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about the things that have transpired through those years.first off, my son never officially introduced me to this woman. Not looking for serious work as she supports him with his dealing. And you and your husband will always be there for him no matter what. So when he graduated she "supported" him by prostituting I believe - because after I found out that she would be in my home whenever my husband and I were at work, I put him out. She smokes like a chimney. Here is my advice: For the time being, don't fight against this girl or this relationship. Lori Phillips (author) from Southern California USA on July 18, 2012: It's such a hard transition to go from boy/child/son to man, a sexual being. Also her parents love him, who wouldn't he is a great person, and are now starting to manipulate him too by giving him an allowance travel card. That is all he sees. The signs might be clear, but most parents cant help but wonder why their kid is willingly dating a toxic partner. The girl was sitting on the couch while my son sitting on the floor in between the girl's legs. My mom, myself, my family, we didn't celebrate Mom's day this year. I treated her like a daughter (I don't have a daughter). There are a lot more resources for grandparents today. He owes his other brothers between the two of them close to 8,000! What's your favorite food? She is a sad mixed up little kid who turned 18 yesterday but has been living a life of an 18 year old for two years anyway. Her mother sees your disapproval as meddling and controlling your son's life. When a son introduces a new female into his world, mothers instinctually take caution, and fears and questions arise. Lori Phillips (author) from Southern California USA on August 19, 2012: Hello, Dave. I truly believe that this mother and father are wanting them to get married at some pont. massage overland park. It takes courage and strength to do the right thing by breaking up now. son's girlfriend doesn 't like his family She's nice before and always greet and smile to me whenever we meet. Then, you can continue to express the positives that your girlfriend adds to your life. Always have an open door to your home and heart. I have been reading all the stories that you ladies have been posting. This is my first post and I'm really hoping for some advice. My greatest concern is for my grandson. Most of the time when he plays basketball, the girl will always be there cheering for him. His girlfriend couldn't choose between them. it really bothers the family cuz we thought we brought our son up with the understanding that family comes first that you never bring trash in your family and take up for your family! Asks them questions about how they feel about their situation. If she hasn't visited him, that is a clear sign--and should be to your son--about her loyalty. But it is your house so you can draw some lines: She can't sleep over. :). Be honest and help him connect the dots between his relationship and the manipulative behaviour. Were you too harsh? "Let your partner know it means a lot to you to see . Would you like to prove once and for all that parents know best? Be sure in your letter to tell him that there always, always, always will be an open door to your home and heart for him. NOW is the time to be very, very careful in his choice. Not putting her down at all, but expressing that she just wasn't going to be the one to make him happy. What can I do? She hasn't wanted to get to know our family from the beginning. My son began dating this girl when he was 17. If they are spending much time together and less time on school or other activities. Will she take him away from us? she also attends college and skips classes often which being under my roof and acting in such an irresponsible way around my younger son is upsetting, my boys just don't do these kinds of things. son's girlfriend doesn 't like his family He only said the girl didn't come to the house because he got panicked when I asked him if the girl came and if he said yes that I'm gonna get mad. It has been a hard journey for me but now you have given me the hope on this and more importantly, actions to execute to ensure this does not get worse anymore. My son dated a young woman 4 years ago that my husband and I really disapproved of. The real issue is not about accepting your son's girlfriend, but rather accepting the choices that you as the parent make. Address: 20 - 22 Wenlock Road, London, N1 7GU Often, controlling people fear losing power and a need to influence the world . People tell that hate is a strong word but there is no other way to describe how. She told me her daughter is a chronic liar and makes things up. I have a son, only child, he just turned 18 and just graduated from high school. First, you might want to have a sit down with your son. It's clear our son spends a great deal of time and energy taking care of his girlfriend and making her feel secure and content, although she is rarely content for long. How can a man, my son, allow someone to treat me as such and why is it acceptable to him? What could they have in common other that sex? Her family is unstable and made crazy comments to Scarlet and about us. Lori Phillips (author) from Southern California USA on September 22, 2013: Dear Concerned, I am sorry to hear of your grave situation.
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