However, with a bit of forethought and confidence, you can make it happen in no time. I dont feel shes in love with me anymore even when she says shes still does My girlfriend says she we need a break? Thats the point for the worker, its a business interaction. This will show the cashier that you are serious about your intentions of asking them out. In all seriousness, young and youngish women in customer-service jobs are frequently dealing with a more-0r-less daily barrage of men who interpret smiled at me and was polite as wants me, and it can be exhausting and, yes, scary, since a significant fraction of men dont take a polite no thanks well. Im a public librarian, married to a patron. Also OP, I wonder if you have looked for him on online dating sites? We've just spoken briefly a few times i doubt she remember who i am, "i have won million dollars lottery in cash and i can't count them! For instance whether she looks at you in the eyes while answering, if her answers are short, if she asks you something as well, etc. OP: I think most people can tell when there is some genuine interest going on. One time when he wasnt there I said to his coworker, Hey, is the cute guy working today? She told him I had asked about him, and the next time I went in he gave me his number. I also made sure none of his co-workers or any customers were nearby. Test more. This is coming from a womans perspective, so take it with a grain of salt. The gender gap in pay has remained relatively stable in the United States over the past 20 years or so. Use a bell on the door to let you know when new customers have arrived, so that you can be sure to greet them promptly. 2. Thanks very much for your thoughtful comment. Yes, this. ), then drop it, and to me, its no big deal. That was hilarious. .. ask her name first. An intelligent woman shouldnt have a problem meeting a prescreened stranger in a public place without having to take friends a family on the date. Because to answer the question, there are plenty of opportunities to meet people in the real world that dont rely on one person having to be nice to the other for the sake of their job. Just because you would find it flattering doesnt mean the service worker feels the same. Don't think a girl is attracted to you because she's doing her job. I think, for women especially, there is also the matter of fatigue. I date women. with a side of awkward (sorry, I play for team rainbow, but good luck to you). As it happens, safe is the first one. Right, Ive always worked customer service, so I certainly take your point; but I do think its a very blurred line. This is so uncomfortable to me. Your lindy hop can lead to a special moment for both of you, making the experience more memorable. Well whats some do's and dont's. Don't ask someone out while they are at work. Site design / logo 2023 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under CC BY-SA. And man did that sting. It can be intimidating to ask someone out, especially if you dont feel confident in your own skin. How Old Is Al Haitham Genshin? In most smaller towns and villages the cashier or shopkeeper gets to know the local community through their role as shopkeeper or cashier. Once you have built up enough confidence and prepared your words, it is time to take action. If she seems to like the idea, then exchange numbers. So, for me, Id play it extra-super-cautious and wait for the big neon sign and the person to ask me. So if you cant do that, or you can talk yourself into just enjoying the eye candy, dont do it. That would be some might serious dating phobia to have that reaction from a casual reach out, hed be quite the outlier with that level of panic. Like, just reading the net, its easy to get the impression that a good 80% of men are creepsters. How to reinitiate conversations online with stranger taking long to answer my mail. Unless hes specifically told you about these things, you dont know whats going on in the background for him, and what it might raise. OP, I did this once. We looked into each others' eyes for about two weeks. At restaurants this happened a lot and I was never offended and it was only slightly awkward for a moment and a simple I have a boyfriend always worked as a no whether I had one or not. Hardly altruism; that works in mens' favor too. I don't like asking people out at their workplace, it's her job to be there, I don't want to make it awkward. It only takes a minute to sign up. I must disclose agenda: I want a world where women are inherently safe and empowered. That may not have occurred to you, but like I say, "men doing our usual" doesn't create any safety or empowerment. But at least you put the ball in her court but have not placed any demands. These guys write Odes of Undying Love and Devotion to the people who make their coffee every morning, and generally feel like its reciprocated because they smile at me every time I come in. And a friend of Ilenes another pediatrician really liked the farmer who sold his sweet corn at the farmers market. ;). Ive been pondering this exact situation, in regards to the guy at the corner store I go to. Asking is out is just Let me know if youd like to grab coffee sometime. And yes getting asked out does often make me feel uncomfortable if Im not interested. then nope. Nothing terribly overt but just talking, asking what I'm up to for the rest of the day and just seeming kind of excited to talk to me. Q: How can I gain confidence to ask a cashier out? It's usually pretty busy when I see her there so I both a) don't want to hold shit up trying to chat, And b) don't want to be "that guy" especially in front of a bunch of people. It can end well! I mean the problem is that it happens way more often than you think. Parabolic, suborbital and ballistic trajectories all follow elliptic paths. Holy cats, it was painful to watch him. She'll now believe I go there just to see her and while you can't be judged in court for this, she will think it's creepy, she'll then tell her co-workers and they'll start to subtly take a pick on you. Nothing high pressure, just hey call me if you want to get coffee. We hung out a few times, then both moved away from the area but were still friendly now. Get her a card to leave with her - write something sincere in it - like hey, I dont want to make it weird and ask you out at work, but you have a really pretty smile Awkwardness all round. The world has always been creepy, you just werent aware of it. Don't make it awkward. An online dating website is the real world. ), I love Captain Awkward and heres another post from the heterosexual male point of view about the 5 times not to ask out women: http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/06/5-times-shouldnt-approach-women/. Or, to put it more pithily, as this linked post full of citations says in its title, Mythcommunication: Its Not That They Dont Understand, They Just Dont Like The Answer When youre in a position where your continued success (and as a waitress, your actual ability to pay your eat/bills) is contingent on playing nice with people who treat you like crap day in and day outand looking sufficiently enthusiastic about it, thankyouverymuchthe power dynamic there is way off.
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